No, it’s not just you, it’s everyone who’s been in situations like yours. You’re not the moron, it’s them. I hate people who use me and walk over me all the time, at the same time they expect me to respect them when they allow themselves to walk over me, expect me to treat them better than the way I treat myself, walk in and out of my life, take me in circles and blame me for their mixed up mind. Well, you either put up with it or just let them walk out of your life, refuse them to come into your life if they want to enter it again, their mistake - not yours.

I always wonder what people mean when they say "You should be normal like how everybody else".. the thing is, why should we be a clone like everybody else? Are we a 'yes to everything' attitude and motto in life? Where we could not oppose something that everybody else does? I don't understand the concept between 'normal' and if someone calls you 'crazy, weird, out of the ordinary'. I also don't understand if someone weighs in on those who, and couldn't explain properly between the two what it really means, as to social standards. So if I go to a party, I have to dress like every body else? Wear the same dress, same shoes like everybody else, have the same personality or ego like the person next to me? Posture myself to suit society's standards? I mean, if it's to be like 'every else' and follow the crowd, isn't it time to say fuck them all and stand out,...be yourself? Oh wait.. that's considered being not normal. So I guess I rather be fucking crazy.

Who are we to judge when we want to be ourselves?This is what the world has gone to, sad really.

Her: “ME, YOU, it won’t work. i need someone who will give me the physical love and affection i need. Someone who will bring me flowers, hug me, kiss me, and hold me like they never want to let me go! i need you here, but if you can’t be here, then i can’t be with you.”

Him: “I’m sorry I’m not good enough.”

Her: “it’s not that you aren’t, it’s just…I hate being alone. I’m sorry.”

A week passes and they haven’t talked. She begins to worry as if something happened to him. Finally she gets a call from him.

Her: “where have you been!? are you okay!? i haven’t talked to you in forever”

Him: “don’t worry, I'm fine. are you home?”

Her: “yeah why?”

The door bell rings and she runs to go answer it. She opens the door and sees him standing there holding flowers and a bear that holds a sign that says “hug me”.

Him: “I’m here, I brought you flowers.” He hugs her, kisses her, and doesn’t let her go.

Him: ” … don’t leave me, i love you.”

When I was in Thailand for a month this year in July, I was socially in a different world. I think my complaint would be the sexpats there, you know old fat white men with girlfriend/wife that looks young enough to be his daughter. Me and my sister would actually talk about it in public, even in front of them or at least near them.. We also would give a bad look towards them, hee. I'm not sure if they understood us or whether they know but they refuse to say anything because we're Westerners too.

My main concern is when I decide to watch television there, the commercials is quite disturbing in my own view. It's the continuous promotion of whitening skin, the people in the ads are milky white and it looks like they never went out during the day to see the sun, whitening cream products (heavily promoted) towards viewers and also to mention in the shops too. It's as if they're saying yellow skin or dark skin is bad and only white skin is beautiful.

I don't understand this modern way structure of the way the media manipulates us wanting us to believe that, but it does psychological affect people in huge numbers. I believe it affects people socially as well. It affects their judgement towards others. Now this is where racism comes into play. The most common rationale that I could think of when it comes to why they do this is that they think that the lighter complexion you have, it will associate with wealth and higher educational levels. Where as people from lower social class, labourers, farmers and etc are exposed to the sun most of the time and have a darker complexion. This is nonsense, a mentality that has plague people for a long time through stereotypes and the media manipulating minorities, it's about time someone should stand up against this marketing stereotype against those who don't have a 'whiter' skin. Anyway, I believe that whatever skin tone we're bone with, we should NEVER embellish it, it makes us in denial over our own race, our own culture and saying a big FUCK YOU towards our ancestors. We should be proud of who we are and how we turned out as.